JMQ! I miss these kinds of blog posts from mayer


Dear Cherry Tomatoes,

We’re cool now.

I know we didn’t get on real well in the past, and I think the blame has fallen somewhere between us both. You’re distinct!! You really come on strong there at the beginning with that first bite. You’re like, ‘bang! tomato!’ and some people get a little taken aback by that. I know I was. I also think I was a bit misled by the name ‘cherry tomato’. That’s a tall order, referencing a delicious fruit in your name like that. I don’t know if any vegetable could compare themselves to cherries and get away with it.

I’ve had a hard time stabbing you with my fork. Sometimes I’d have to push down six or seven times before I got hold of you, what with your being covered in slick salad dressing, and round. Sometimes I just don’t feel like playing. And maybe that’s my fault.

Lately, though, I’ve been warming up to you. I’ve gotten older, my tastes more refined as a result. You’ve been respecting yourself, showing up in perfect symmetry ensconced in the corners of my grilled chicken salad. You carry yourself differently now. I’ll admit it, I think that’s kind of attractive. Makes people want to be around you.

I’m not saying we should just get together, but I think it would be cool to have you on more meals and maybe see where this goes. I don’t want to forget about the past, but I also don’t want to harp on it. It is what it is.

Let’s take things slow.


P.S. Dear olives,
I still f**king hate you.


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