he made sense

i actually listened. as in really really listened.

“everybody’s got to fight gravity.
everybody deals with ups and downs
am i too fat? am i too thin?
am i too smart? am i too dumb?
am i good enough?
do people like me?
or do i have enough money? i don’t have money?
not enough friends? not enough fights?
enough comfort? not enough comfort?
do i have a place to live? no place to live?
everybody deals with ups and downs.
everybody deals with one up and down.

somebody in this room wonders
how’s my anxiety level?
am i gonna freak out?
am i gonna freak out?
am i sleeping?
am i freaking out?
am i sleeping?

someone else says
am i 120 pounds?
am i 112 pounds?

them somebody else goes
did somebody make me feel smart?
or did somebody make me feel stupid?

every single person has a unit
on how they do this.
and i just have mine, like this…
you got a good heart
you got a black heart
i got a good heart
i got a black heart

coz i’m telling you, that there’s nothing, nothing that i’ve ever put my hands on in my own life – as huge as you think it is – that has been dark, or black, or strange, or freaky, there has never been a boardroom sell-out, marketing, lame conversation. there’s never been a PR spin, there’s never been a strategic boardroom phone call, close-circuit television, there’s never been that.

but when the darkness comes in, that’s when people start to see your life in such a way that you begin to believe that’s the way it really is. it’s a little bit like when someone saying, ‘do you feel ok?’, and you’re like ‘i think i feel ok, but maybe i don’t’.

and that’s when i go, ‘well, god, i’m still, i’m a kid from connecticut’, but maybe i am a f*cking media whore. i don’t know. but nothing i’ve ever put my hands on, nobody i have ever spoken to, nothing i have ever seen with my own eyes that stayed in the room around, has ever really brought me down the floor when i said, ‘this shit is dark’.

THAT’S COZ I SURROUND MYSELF WITH GOOD PEOPLE. and i can’t tell you who i would’ve become or what i’d look like, or what i’d sound like, or what sense it makes standing right here in front of you if i had a different set of people around me. so i guess what i’m telling you is, just be as authentic as you can be. coz that shit will hit everybody. it doesn’t really matter. it doesn’t matter if you’re a celebrity. there’s enough talk about every single person in this room in your whole lives. there’s enough bullshit on your myspace page, or somebody said this about you, or somebody said that shirt you’re, it’s happening everywhere from everybody at the same time. everybody’s got something they read in the last week that pissed them off. everybody. so all i’m saying is just keep fighting and just keep on holding onto your mark. coz this is the real thing, it’s the last thing you’ve got.”

didn’t get the complete rant, but i got most of it for me to be able to say, “you know what? you are so damn right.”

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