Fear… Anxiety

Today I am enveloped in this heavy, dark, gut-wrenching feeling. Swirling inside my head are fears and anxieties with varying magnitudes, different degrees, unequal importance, unclear realism – caused by my decision to throw myself inside the well of the unknown. Paranoia is slowly creeping in me… and it’s torture.

3524715339_b6fbccef61

What’s in store for me?

Have I negatively affected a person’s disposition, by just my mere presence?

I don’t want to take a nap because that would mean wasting my Sunday.

I know I can do this… but why am I so insecure?

What if I fail myself once again?

Am I still strong?

Damn clock, the minutes fly by so fast.

Am I really cursed?

There’s no such thing as a perfect life right?

Don’t I deserve a happy life?

Maybe that’s how it should be with me, to always fail…

I am anticipating bad things to come. I was born to be unlucky.

What if they end up hating me?

What if they don’t want to hang out with me?

Is it just me or are there a couple of people who hate my existence?

In the long run, will this be worth it?

If I reach the bottom of the well, will it hurt? Will it kill me?

What if I experience the same experiences I had in the past?

All I wanted was a life that’s content, happy and comfortable… but now, I am actually believing that it won’t happen.

Will I be miserable my whole life?

Why can’t I be like the others?

I have to get rid of this insomnia.

My hours will be the death of me.

What happened to me?

Why is this happening to me?

Am I having a nervous breakdown? Why?

It’s too early to tell, and the majority of things are ok. What the hell is wrong with me????

Have I accepted the fact that I will die a sad and pitiful old hag?

 

I am now desperate… a clear sign that I will give up really soon.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Fear… Anxiety”

  1. The fact that you are questioning everything shows your strong mind, NOT your weakness..Your strength will see you through..DON’T give up..there is a rainbow at the end of every storm..Stay strong and wait for the rainbow…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s